if i had a million dollars
I don't know what to say. This is the answer to everything and it only costs a cool mill. It's got to be the best EVER! I mean check out the reviews! But the depreciation is a bitch! Used for only $14.78! However, rumor has it that the new model will be even better and cost twenty-five percent less! But come on, this doesn't qualify for the super-saver shipping?! That's just wrong. But I guess I can look past the shipping since this thing CAN CURE CANCER!
In case the price changed and has been fixed, you can go here to check out the coolness.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
a contender
I never understood strict party adherence when considering important issues and often my political affiliation swings to the representatives I feel best exemplifies a capable leader. With that said, a buzz for some of us more discerning voters™ has been going around for a couple of weeks. There was some hope that a suitable candidate would show up to replace Bush and for some that rested with Senator John Kerry or Governor Howard Dean. While I was warming to the idea of Dean after considering Kerry, I still wasn’t quite getting the warm and fuzzies with them. Now a new candidate is set to make a formal appearance and he just might be all right.
I gotta say, after getting a sneak peek of General Wesley Clark on Real Time with Bill Maher, I lit up like Times Square. And, I was getting a glimmer of warm and fuzzy after getting to know him. Of course what a candidate stumps on can be vastly different than what they do in office. While I have yet to hear an explanation about his clash with the Pentagon concerning Russia and Kosovo, he seems to be a serious contender for my vote. Clark is expected to give his formal declaration tomorrow at 1 p.m. ET. EDIT: [It's official. He's running.] I will definitely be looking forward to hearing him in the next debate (Sept. 25 in New York, broadcast on CNBC and MSNBC) and will be watching closely as the democratic circus rolls on.
it’s called a bidet
Now, I was minding my own business when an ad for this popped up on the TV. After about five minutes of hysterics and a stomach cramp, I wiped the tears from my eyes and had to check out this thing online. Call it what you want, but to me it’s a bidet. Albeit a fancy high-tech one. I remember my first encounter with this anomaly while in Paris which, by the way, was also where I had my first encounter with the hole in the ground brand toilet (remember to jump when flushing). After mistaking the bidet for some kind of jacked up sink (which actually it was, except for you butt) I tried it out. Kinda weird and really tingly if you get the aim wrong or shocking if the water isn’t set at the right temp. But be wary of the high pressure ones! Of course the concept makes perfect sense when you consider our obsession with cleanliness (witness antibacterial everything), but for some odd reason the bidet hasn’t hit the mainstream. Oh I’m sure the affluent have some version of it going on in their fancy schmancy homes, but for the rest of us, well it’s still the good old Charmin. And really, when you think about it, it’s kinda gross that we only use a paper towel to clean down there. Maybe this will be my first home improvement project. Just think, my own bidet!
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Monday, September 15, 2003
she’s a baaaad girl
Isabel is fine looking act of God. Here’s a profile and a closeup. If looks could kill indeed. Fortunately for me, she’ll miss the residence by 500 miles. Not so fortunate for citizens in North Carolina, Virginia and D.C., she’s headed straight for them. Prayers that this won’t become the nightmare being predicted or worse, one that was unpredicted.
And words of solace to those in South Korea hit by typhoon Maemi.
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Sunday, September 14, 2003
good vs. evil redux
It has been awhile since I’ve been treated to an interesting take on the story of heaven vs. hell. The X-Files had some interesting ones and The Prophecy was great fun. Christopher Walken is bad ass. I thought that ABC had a real winner in Miracles but it wasn’t quite the cup of tea for the masses. monkeys. No, no, we need more police dramas, forensic exercises and spy thrillers. And another f*@#$!% bachelor.
But you can always count on HBO to pick up the slack. With Six Feet Under, Real Sports, Real Time with Bill Maher, and now Carnivàle, HBO can be a haven at times. Carnivàle (in HDTV btw) looks to be a fantastic ride. I’m already looking to go again! I think it’s a must see if your interested the supernatural battles with the Devil genre. And just out of curiosity, why is it angels or God’s chosen do battle with the Devil, but He is far off on the throne presiding over the events? Sam, any thoughts? I suppose it's really our fight since the Devil is there to test our faith. Hrm, maybe I should bone up on my biblical “mythology”. Also previewed was Angels in America, an HBO original movie set to debut December of this year. Looks to be in the vien of the aforementioned flick of angels, demons and the poor monkeys caught in-between.
On the subject of good and evil. Debuting after the premier of Carnivàle was K Street, a strange, almost surreal mixture of fiction and reality in the powerful corridors of Washington D.C.. I’m not quite sure what to make of it, but I’ll be tuning in next week for sure.
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Friday, September 12, 2003
what’s that blinky thing?
This week the commute to and from work has been unusually craptastic. While I admit, my daily traffic experience is on par with a Montana state highway when compared to Atlanta, Chicago, New York and/or L.A., but being stuck in traffic with asshats everywhere is no fun anywhere. No doubt you’ll catch many a traffic rant here only because side-swiping moronic drivers off a bridge and cackling with glee as they scream to their deserved fiery deaths is apparently against the law or somesuch. I may not be the world’s foremost driving expert, but after surviving the Lonzo Ray Roland School of Driving® and able to employ a bit of common sense, I think I can rant some about the ineptitude of many drivers on the road.
First, however, let me dispel the myth that bad driving™ has something to do with geography. It doesn’t. People suck at driving everywhere. It annoys me to no end when people are driving along in a new place and then exclaim that the drivers in that particular area are horrible. Like where you hailed from was any better. You just acclimated to their lunacy. I think this sentiment has been echoed somewhere else, but I can’t remember, so forgive any plagiarism.
The traffic rant this go round? What is with the extreme aversion to using a turn signal? Some call them directionals (and they are weird) or blinkers. Really, if you want to cut in front of me so you can speed up right into the back of another car going no faster than the car you’re trying to pass? Fine, just give me a heads up that you wish to jeopardize my life so you can get somewhere all of .005 sec faster. That’s all I ask. Oh and at opposing intersections, I like it when you just sit there and expect me to use my natural telepathic skills to determine if you’re going left, right or straight. Then you look at me like I just shat on your dog when I decide I’m not waiting for you to make up your mind. Tuuuurrrn signaaaal. Look into it.
But then there are those who abuse the turn signal. Do you not notice the little blinking green light indicating your desire to turn left or right? Yet you continue straight ahead. Must be someone else’s blinking green light. Doesn’t that get annoying after awhile? I mean the clicking sound has got to be on par with Chinese water torture after several miles. It’s a green flashing light for pete’s sake! Do something! Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, bli – TURN BEEATCH! I’d ram them off the road too.
And just because I’m yapping about traffic absurdities, what kind of crapulent monkey do you have be in order to actually purchase a H2 I’m sorry, but you’ve got to be one ginourmous tool to actually believe owning one of these things makes some kind of positive statement. I can’t even pretend to rationalize any other reason for plopping down an absurd sum of money for what amounts to a Tonka truck that is, almost in every respect, useless. It sure as hell wasn’t so you could go muddin. In my humble opinion, the only statement that thing makes (other than you’re a prick) is that you couldn’t spring for a real urban tank. Yes I loathe these things and if I ever actually met the bourgeois monkey driving these things, I’m sure I’d probably find them just as disagreeable. A fool and his money… no doubt.
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Monday, September 08, 2003
so what about the WMD?
Most notably absent in Bush’s speech last night was the case for weapons of mass destruction, the major justification for invading Iraq. No update on the search and no explanation for their nonexistence. What we did hear was rhetoric on the freeing of Iraqi peoples and establishing a safer, peaceful, pro-democratic world. And that we need to spot the government an additional $87 billion dollars. Um… do I get a receipt for that? This is on top of the estimated $401 billion we’ll need to come up with to pay for the government’s spending in excess of what we pay in taxes already. You can go here to get an idea of how much we’ve already spent on the war. And just for fun, go here to see how much it was supposed to cost. All I’m saying is that I better get some fries with this or something.
i need more screens
Oklahoma, Florida and Florida State all had big games this past weekend and all were televised at the same time. Too much good football on at the same time and only one tv. Yeah, flipping back and forth sucked and the PIP didn’t help much. And damn ESPN for not broadcasting the OU/Bama game in HDTV. You bastages! Get your shiznit together or for pete’s sake buy another broadcasting truck. Jeez. One day, when HDTV is standard, I’m sure we’ll all be laughing at this absurd kinda stuff. But it’s not funny now, especially when you’re paying extra. At least the Titans/Raiders game looked pretty.
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Friday, September 05, 2003
and so it begins
I caught the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night with the hope of finding a suitable replacement for the current president. I’ll try not to be terse and hold my contempt for the current administration in check, but I think it would be a tragedy to see them back in the office come January 2005, save Colin Powell since I think he’s just a victim of circumstance and got in with the bad crowd.
While I missed out on the fun that would have been the Rev. Al Sharpton (weather delays in the East) I did get a glimpse of what competition lies ahead for Bush and Co.. And you know, if they held the election right now, I’d be damned if I didn’t vote for former Sen. Carol Moseley Braun. While she has no real shot at a party nomination due to her political baggage and being under qualified, I was tickled with her performance and some of her answers, particularly, her response to the current economic situation and the idealistic notion of creating a new industry driven by environmental technologies. And damn! That Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio was a feisty little guy!
Most of the debate was “Bush whacking” and general promises to improve everything and fix everything that is wrong. Oh, and of course, making education the #1 priority. We all know that education would be the silver bullet for many issues facing our country, but when it comes to actually doing something about improving education, nothing of substance has been done. It really is a shame. The more we put off revamping and building up our public education system, the bigger the pain will be when we are left with a population unable to critically think. The horror.
To those actually reading this, I implore you to take more interest in the political leaders vying for the next presidency come November 2004. The travesty in office right now needs to be removed. Watch the debates, visit the websites attend a rally if you get the chance. But get to know what the candidates are really like and what policies or ideas they advocate. Don’t just rely on the op-ed article in your local paper, what so and so said, late night with Leno and for everything holy, NPR.
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Thursday, September 04, 2003
SUICIDES PROHIBITED
do not shoot self - violators will be prosecuted
The story.
Catching random bits of news on the net can lead to some strange happenings. Will this kind of signage be necessary now?
The issue of suicide is entirely baffling to me. That’s not to mean that I don’t understand it or, to be honest, wondered about it a time or two. Whoa. Before you all get worried, I’m not saying that I’d EVER consider actually doing anything remotely close to committing suicide (at least not intentionally). It’s just that the idea had flashed in my thoughts at times, like a “what if” or what would happen kind of thing. I’d speculate that most people have thought or will think about the prospect of suicide at some point in their lives, if only in a fleeting moment (you’re thinking about it right now aren’t you? See.). Maybe during the teen years or during an extreme low point in one’s life. Here are some facts I could dig up real quick and a Q&A section.
Now, like I said, my brief encounters with the idea of suicide were not, at least in my own judgment, anything of concern or consequence. Hmm, I guess then I can only claim that I can understand actually committing suicide or sympathize with it, but really I can’t, since you know, I'm still here. I mean I can understand the feeling of wanting to give up on your own life. Like you would want to get away from anything that causes an extreme amount of pain, but actually getting to the point where you make a snap decision and you’re done for good… well, in reality, I can not fathom. Barring religious or social canon, to me, there’s something about quitting on yourself, your entire life and all of its potential, that is even more repulsive than suffering through life’s pain. I mean even though sometimes things seem to the contrary, pain is temporary and always tempered with pleasure. Not to sound cliché, but pain can not exist without pleasure and vice versa. Whereas pain and pleasure come and go, as far as anyone knows, you only get one chance at life. What lies beyond is anyone’s guess and I’d rather experience what the here and now has to offer than gamble with what dreams may come. Though, I can’t say for sure I’d feel the same way if I was under some major Shakespearean duress. I’d like to think I’d have the fortitude to withstand such an urge, but I guess you never know until you’re put to the test.
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